Ghosting is when someone suddenly and without explanation or warning withdraws from all communication. This can be a personal relationship or a business relationship. Believe me from experience, ghosting someone can be freeing but getting ghosted can feel like torture. Not knowing what happened can eat at you. I have been on both sides; the person who ghosted someone, and I have been the person ghosted. This blog will highlight both of my perspectives and explain why I choose not to ghost.
Ghosting seems to be common practice now more than ever. People just stop answering you or just do not show up anymore. I grew up in a time where a response was sent even if it was acknowledging receipt of the message. But I must admit, I have ghosted before when I felt threatened. If someone is in fear of physical or emotional harm, stopping communication is necessary. But when there is absolutely no reason that you can think of for the ghosting, it can really be negatively impactful on a person. I know it did for me. I just had to learn to come to peace with never knowing “why?”.
I have been ghosted personally and professionally. I had friends and family suddenly and for no reason that I could think of stop talking to me. I would have been happy with a “I don’t want to talk to you.” But just falling off the face of the earth makes that person getting ghosted question themselves and can even impact their self-esteem. Not knowing can be brutal when you value the relationship. Professionally, I have experienced great working relationships turn to no response to email or voicemail. The thoughts just run through your head…” maybe they went out of business, maybe they are not interested in working with me anymore, maybe they experienced a tragedy, maybe something I said offended them, etc.” To this day, I do not know what happened and had to come to peace again with not knowing “why?”.
So why do I choose not to ghost? Because I personally believe people deserve a reason. If I am lacking in any area to the point a person does not want anything to do with me, I would want to know. How will I ever improve and not make others feel like they must disappear if I have no clue the reason it happened in the first place. We cannot improve if we do not communicate the hard stuff. Some conversation may be uncomfortable, but they are worth having.
The New Rule of Ghosting: Learn to Communicate.